Bourdain's First Wife Struggled With His Rise to Fame
Bourdain's relationship played a significant role in affecting his mental health. When his first wife, Nancy Putkoski, filed for divorce after two decades together, the chef was said to have been heartbroken. They had known each other since their school days; Bourdain described her as "bad girl" whom he was utterly "smitten" with. In a candid interview with The New Yorker, he revealed that Putkoski struggled with his rise to fame: "I felt like the whole world was opening up to me. I desperately wanted more. And she saw the whole thing as a cancer."
It seems Bourdain's burgeoning TV career was always going to be a problem for his first wife, as he explained that she had "identified television early on as an existential threat to the marriage."
Living a Separate Life From His Second Wife for Years
Two years after Bourdain and his first wife divorced, he married mixed martial artist Ottavia Busia. Naturally, the two had a lot in common, with their shared love for combat sports. However, Bourdain's busy filming schedule was a significant factor in driving them apart, as she wasn't happy with him being away for so many days each year. During their marriage, the chef was said to have been out of the country for around 250 days per year, which made life unbearable for his second wife.
"My wife and I have lived very separate lives for years," he once admitted in an interview. In any case, Bourdain and Busia decided to separate in 2016, which was probably for the best.
His Last Relationship Was an Open One
Bourdain and Busia separated a couple of years before his passing, which allowed the chef to make room for another special person in his life. He met Italian actress and director Asia Argento while filming the Rome episode of Parts Unknown, and the two hit it off almost immediately. However, they didn't enter into a committed relationship for another year, and even then, they kept things pretty flexible. Argento later admitted to enjoying an open relationship with Bourdain while they were together.
Despite the good times between them, texts sent just before Bourdain's passing revealed that the couple might have endured a rocky relationship some of the time.
Bourdain's Coworkers Saw Him Falling in Love on Set
The chemistry between Bourdain and Argento was apparently undeniable on the set of Parts Unknown, according to friend Rose McGowan, who wrote, "When Anthony met Asia, it was instant chemistry." Eagle-eyed fans have also pointed out that upon watching the show, it's obvious that the pair share something special. Director Michael Steed seems to have seen it too, stating, "When Tony met Asia, he was like, 'She’s the best. My God, she’s so great.' You know, like high school when you get laid for the first time."
Another Parts Unknown coworker saw the burgeoning romance a little differently, however, believing that Bourdain was "turning a lifelong addictive personality to another person, and that was extremely dangerous."
Argento Sought Freedom as Much as Bourdain Did
Despite having met on the set of Parts Unknown, Bourdain and Argento weren't keen on living out their relationship in front of the public eye. They were rarely seen together, and in the times that they were photographed, it was few and far between. They did share a few tender Kodak moments with their fans on social media, but for the most part, they conducted their business behind closed doors. In some aspects of their relationship, they seemed like a perfect fit, especially when it came to their shared desire to be "a renter by nature."
Bourdain once explained to a publication that he and Argento have similar sentiments about it: "I like the freedom to change my mind about where I want to be in six months, or a year."
Argento Was Blamed for the Tragedy
In the aftermath of Bourdain's passing, many of his fans believed Argento to be the reason for his early demise. Photos were released of the Italian actress and director holding hands with another man in the street, at a time when the couple were supposedly still together. Along with the public release of one of the last text messages Bourdain sent to Argento stating, "You were reckless with my heart," it seemed clear that Bourdain was suffering from a broken heart in his final days.
After Bourdain's tragic end, Argento came out and said that seeing other people was a part of their relationship, explaining that "It wasn't a problem for us," and that they both "cheated."
Bourdain's Friend Came Out in Defense of Argento
Actress Rose McGowan was a close friend of Bourdain, and she came out after his passing to defend Argento's assertion that the couple were in an open relationship. McGowan wrote that the pair "loved without the borders of traditional relationships" and "established the parameters of their relationship early on. Asia is a free bird, and so was Anthony." McGowan also highlighted the positive aspects of their union, saying, "They laughed, they loved, and he was her rock during the hardships of this last year."
McGowan clarified what she believed to be the reason for her friend's unexpected passing, writing,"Anthony was open with his demons... he put down his armor, and that was very much his choice. His decision, not hers."
He Sadly Took His Own Life While Filming in France
It came as a shock to the world when it was announced that Bourdain had passed away on June 8, 2018, in a hotel room in France. He was abroad filming for an episode of Parts Unknown when fellow chef Eric Ripert found him unresponsive. Ripert had gone to check on Bourdain after noticing that he hadn't joined them for lunch or dinner that day. Devastatingly, the tragedy occurred just two weeks before Bourdain's 62nd birthday.
Bourdain was open about his mental health struggles, explaining in a 2016 episode of his show: "Suddenly I look at the hamburger and I find myself in a spiral of depression that can last for days."
The Years He Struggled With Addiction Were the Toughest He Faced
One of the darker aspects of Bourdain's life was his years-long struggle with substance abuse. We're used to seeing famous people deal with things like addiction, but in Bourdain's case his struggles started long before he rose to fame. While he was still earning a pittance working for restaurants, he was actively using, and only after coming out the other end did he reflect on himself and his friends being "lucky ones. We made it out alive. There are a lot of guys that didn’t get that far."
He added: "I’m still here - on my third life, or maybe fourth. Who knows? I should’ve died in my 20s. I became successful in my 40s. I became a dad in my 50s."
Many Thought That Bourdain Had Slipped Back Into Substance Abuse
Not all of Bourdain's fans believed that his girlfriend Asia Argento was to blame for his passing. Some believed that his years of substance abuse were a major reason for his tragic passing, and that it may have been something he never truly overcame. As they saw it, Bourdain may not have been as sober as he claimed, and it was possible that he might have had slip-ups from time to time.
That theory was largely debunked, however, after Bourdain's toxicology report revealed that no substances were present at the time of his passing. It seemed as though something else was at play.
Bourdain Battled a String of Mental Health Issues
Bourdain was a complicated individual, and despite his years of career success, he was a lifelong sufferer of depression. It is said to have been exacerbated by years of substance abuse, but he also struggled with other mental health issues throughout his life. Agoraphobia, OCD, and anxiety were other aspects of his life he had to contend with, in addition to his addictive tendencies. Despite what people may believe about Bourdain, he was almost always battling inner demons.
In a chilling episode of Parts Unknown that aired a two years before his passing, Bourdain admitted “I’d like to be happy... I’d like to be able to look out the window and say, ‘Yay, life is good.’”
Some Thought His Mental Health Struggles Were Behind Him
Despite indications that Bourdain was unhappy with his life, some people believed he had overcome the worst of his mental health struggles. He publicly discussed seeing a therapist in his final years, leading many to assume he was getting the help he needed. When speaking about his lowest lows, he referred to them as past events. It wasn't easy for everyone to recognize the signs that he was still very much battling his inner demons.
Based on Bourdain's previous statements, it appears as though that he had good days and bad days throughout his life and was often swinging between them.
Why Argento Was Left Out of the Documentary on Bourdain
Naturally, the public took a greater interest in Anthony Bourdain's private life after his unexpected passing. In 2021, a documentary titled Roadrunner: A Film About Anthony Bourdain was released, aiming to provide its audience with a deeper insight into his inner life. Friends, family, and coworkers were interviewed, but one particularly important person was noticeably absent: Asia Argento. Director Morgan Neville explained that 'It instantly made people want to ask ten more questions. It became this kind of narrative quicksand.
Neville added that the story between Bourdain and Argento had "been painful for a lot of people,” and that the subject of their relationship could have been a whole other film of its own.
Bourdain Clashed With Many Contemporaries in the Food Business
While Bourdain seemed to be a relatively laid-back guy, he actually had numerous quarrels with other high-profile people, and he wasn't afraid of them going public. Some of the famous people he had feuds with included other celebrity chefs, such as cook and TV personality Rachael Ray, whom he famously called "evil." He also clashed with TV restaurateur Guy Fieri, whom he referred to as a "douche," and TV chef Paula Deen, whom he believed was "greedy" and the "most dangerous person in America."
He certainly wasn't scared to go head-to-head with other big names in the food business, but as he got older, he began to ease off on the public verbal attacks.
He Had Money Problems Well Into His Forties
His overwhelming popularity and TV show success led many to believe that he lived a very comfortable life. But the truth was that his forties were marred by constant financial strain. It took a while for his career to flourish, which meant that Bourdain didn't really start earning a lot of money until well into his mid-forties. By the time he was in his fifties, his financial situation was significantly better, but he never became a top earner like many of his fans assumed.
By the time he passed away at the age of 61, Bourdain left behind a small fortune of approximately one million dollars. He reportedly wasn't able to save any money for most of his life.
Living Paycheck to Paycheck at the Best of Times
Bourdain admitted to Green Global Travel that, "My success came very late. I was in my forties, and I’d spent my adult life working in NYC kitchens." Indeed, Bourdain would earn $120 for a 12-hour shift at the restaurant, which quickly dwindled away due to his substance abuse. Even after he became successful, however, Bourdain still didn't manage to take home the big bucks. He explained that his inability to sell out is what kept him from building his fortune.
He continued: "I’d love to sell out and be a happy, insincere bobblehead - I’d probably make a lot more money - but I can’t. I have to look at myself in the mirror every morning."
It Took Many Years for Bourdain to Kick the Habit
Bourdain first started abusing substances back in 1980, but he managed to overcome his addiction all on his own someitme around 1990. “When I started getting symptoms of withdrawal, I was proud of myself,” he once stated, adding that his declining appearance helped him kick the habit: "I’m a vain person. I didn’t like what I saw in the mirror.” That being said, he still struggled with drinking: "You see me drink myself stupid on my show all the time... But I’m not sitting at home having a cocktail. Never, ever."
In his first memoir he reflected on how it is he managed to stay clean, writing, "Maybe because my experiences were so awful in the end, I’ve never been tempted to relapse."
He Suffered From Shyness When the Cameras Weren't Rolling
As a celebrity chef and TV personality, it's easy to believe that Bourdain was a confident extrovert. His charismatic personality and extreme likability had many people fooled, however, the reality was that Bourdain was quite a shy individual. Those who worked with him or knew him best recognized him to be far less outgoing than he seemed on-screen, especially when he wasn't working or performing for a camera. One childhood friend and fellow chef, Sam Goldman, once stated that Bourdain had endured his fair share of bullying when he was a kid.
Executive Producer Chris Collins, who worked with Bourdain on various TV projects, claimed that Bourdain's shyness went so far as to prevent him from interacting with other members of the crew.
The Smell of Brunch Represented Shame and Humiliation
Brunch means different things for different people, but for Bourdain it had a very specific association. He was always able to fall back on being a brunch cook, allegedly, because no other chefs wanted the job. "I hated brunch. No matter how badly I screwed up in my life or how unemployable I was, I could always get a job as a brunch cook," he once stated. "I would find myself cooking these massive brunches on weekends, often for cash off the books, often under another name."
"For me the smell of eggs cooking and French toast and home fries in the oven was always the smell of shame and defeat and humiliation.” No wonder he grew to hate it.
Keeping His Schedule Busy to Avoid Becoming a Couch Potato
Bourdain famously had a hectic schedule, which saw him working at a frenetic pace and rarely taking any time off. Speaking to Men's Journal, he stated, "If I’m given too much free time to contemplate the mysteries of the universe, I’m afraid of that inner hippie emerging." He added, "There’s a guy inside me who wants to lay in bed, smoke weed all day, watch cartoons, and old movies. I could easily do that. My whole life is a series of stratagems to avoid, and outwit, that guy."
In an interview with Popula, he explained that he is the type of person to "start overcommitting to a lot of projects, maybe comfortably removed from that date" as soon as one of his other projects ended.
His Irrational Fear of the Country of Chocolate and Cheese
Bourdain loved to travel to different countries, but he didn't love every country equally. In fact, there was one particular country which terrified him more than any other, and it probably isn't a country anyone would have expected. There was just something about Switzerland that made him feel very uncomfortable and he couldn't quite put his finger on exactly why. He claimed that it was some "morbid fear," of "alpine vistas, snow-capped peaks or Lake Geneva, or cuckoo clocks" which led to his strange sentiment.
Talking to Conan O'Brien, he added, "You just feel that in your marrow... it’s horrifying. I must have had some terrible childhood experience while watching Sound of Music that I blocked out."
Bourdain Wasn't Above Using Food for Sweet Revenge
While Bourdain held a great amount of respect for his craft, he was known to use food to get back at people, too. He revealed in an interview with The Guardian that he had used food against his parents on a family vacation in France. They had left Bourdain and his brother in the car on one occasion while they enjoyed a fancy meal at the Michelin-starred establishment 'La Pyramide.' But little did they know that Bourdain would find a way to get his own back.
To retaliate against his parents, Bourdain ordered oysters to their table, along with other particular delicacies that were said to repulse them and put them straight off their meal.
Bourdain Was Happy and Proud to Work as a Dishwasher Back in the Day
Bourdain spent two years studying at the liberal arts college Vassar in New York before he decided that formal education simply wasn't for him. His heart wasn't in it, and after repeated bad grades he decided to drop out and work in restaurants instead. It might have seemed like a bad move at the time, but he recalls being a "happy dishwasher," adding that his low-paid job "was the first time I went home proud of myself after a day’s work, the first time I... worked for the respect of others."
Bourdain added, "I was saved by the restaurant business. I was full of rage at the world. I didn’t respect myself, or others." He believed that restaurants saved him from a life of petty crime.
Japan Became His Single Most Inspiring Destination
Bourdain travelled the world throughout his career, but there was one place he couldn't keep from coming back to time and time again - Japan. He was so inspired by the cuisine and the culture of the east asian island that he ended up visiting the country a total of 13 times to film for his various television shows. But he possibly travelled there on other occasions, not related to his work.
Tokyo, in particular, took to his heart more than most places did. He once wrote: "If I had to eat only in one city for the rest of my life, Tokyo would be it."
His Confessional Memoir Launched Him Into the Limelight
Everything changed for Bourdain once he wrote for an article for The New Yorker titled Don't Eat Before Reading This (1999). He lifted the lid on what life was like for someone working in the industry, revealing aspects that had previously remained mysterious to the public. The article was such a huge hit that he ended up publishing a book called Kitchen Confidential, based on his unfettered confessions. Bourdain exposed the challenging and harsh reality of working in a high-end restaurant.
Bourdain haled George Orwell's Down and Out in Paris and London (1933) as a huge inspiration for his own memoir, as it exposed the Parisian restaurant scene of the roaring twenties.
One of Bourdain's Favorite Things to Eat Was Bacon
As a famous chef, everyone was curious about Bourdain's favorite foods and what he truly enjoyed eating behind closed doors. Naturally, people expected his favorite to be something elusive, perhaps a fine dining specialty or a Japanese delicacy. But in truth, there was nothing he loved more than a slice of good ol' American bacon. Specifically, he favored bacon when it was oven-roasted rather than pan-fried, which he wrote about in his 2016 book Appetites: A Cookbook.
According to Bourdain, this cooking method altered the texture of the pork cut. Roasting strips of bacon in the oven gave him that satisfying crunch that couldn't compare with pan-frying.
Bourdain's Love for Story-Telling Led Him to Writing Crime Thrillers
Somewhere amidst his busy schedule, Bourdain also found the time to write crime throller novels. He had a passion for story-telling, and he found the crime thriller book genre to be a perfect outlet for his fantasy narratives. The first of these books that he published was back in 1995, a story called Bone in the Throat, which saw him write about a chef experiencing the shadowy underworld of Little Italy.
He followed up his first crime novel with Gone Bamboo in 1997 and Bobby Gold in 2001. It's an impressive feat that highlights just how multi-talented the celebrity chef was in other areas of life.
Visiting Lebanon in 2006 Changed the Trajectory of His Projects
Bourdain travelled all around the world for his filming projects. But sometimes, he would travel to less stable parts of the world, and on one particular occasion it had a profound effect on him. He visited Lebanon in 2006, but little did he know before he arrived that a conflict was right around the corner. He was in the country at the time when a war broke out, and he got to see a different side to the capital city than he expected.
He later told the Television Academy Foundation, "I really didn't know how to process it... My immediate feeling when I came out of it was, 'We are not making a show out of this.' "
Bourdain Wanted to Uplift Disadvantaged Communities
After visiting Lebanon in 2006, Bourdain was even more impassioned to help less privileged people around the world. As Bourdain explained to the Television Academy Foundation, "We shot a lot of footage that I don't think we ever want to use... What we went through in Beirut is nothing compared to what Beirutis themselves had to go through." He took a greater interest in the stories of the people who cooked the food he was interested in.
Naturally, showing this empathic side to the TV personality only made his fans love him more. Bourdain's reputation as a caring individual helped him garner even more admiration.
He Was Shocked at the How Much Food Was Wasted
Just because he specialized in expensive fine dining, it didn't mean he was comfortable with any level of food waste. Bourdain had a real issue with the growing problem, particularly once he learned about the shocking amount of food waste happening in homes across the country. A third of all consumable food was reportedly being wasted, which Bourdain rallied against, claiming that the kitchens he worked in would never throw away such a huge amount of produce.
It led Bourdain to produce a documentary called Wasted! The Story Of Food Waste, which was released in 2017. He had hoped to open the public's eyes to the issue and motivate people to change.
Bourdain's Fast Food Guilty Pleasure Makes Him More Relatable
Bourdain had a few surprising food obsessions that his fans wouldn't have expected. While he wasn't especially outspoken about his love for fast food, it seems as though he secretly harbored a great appreciation for one particular dish: macaroni and cheese. Allegedly, the travel show documentarian really loved mac and cheese - not the high-end version of the comfort dish, but the kind you pick up in fast food joints for only a few dollars.
Bourdain had even been spotted dining out at Shake Shack, In-N-Out, and KFC from time to time. Clearly, he appreciated food of all kinds, and at all different price points.
A Dislike for McDonald's and the National Dish of Iceland
Despite his love for a good mac and cheese, there were some fast food chains that simply didn't meet his standards. He found the food at McDonald's to be utterly detestable, so if he wanted to indulge in an on-the-go meal, he would always opt for one of his preferred establishments like KFC. But travel also informed his food tastes, and a trip to Iceland saw him realize that he couldn't stand the national dish.
The national dish of Iceland is something called hákarl, which consists of fermented shark meat that has a strong and pungent smell. This was one delicacy that Bourdain simply couldn't wrap his head around.
A Deep Disdain for Pumpkin Spice and Gluten-Free Food
If there was something that Bourdain really despised, it was food trends that were in one season and out the next. He certainly wasn't one to hide his feelings, so food trends frequently came under fire from him. On one occasion, he aired his frustrations about the pumpkin spice trend, which he believed was taking over everything. He probably wasn't the target audience for this particular food fad, but hey, we get it.
It didn't just stop at pumpkin spice. He had spoken out about things he saw as trends such as gluten-free meals, juice cleanses, and even something he referred to as "bro-food" aka food for meatheads.
Bourdain's Daughter Wasn't Afraid to Criticize His Food
He was busy traveling around the world approximately 200 days out of the year, but when he was back home, he would spend as much time with his daughter as possible. He had his only child, Ariane, with ex-wife Ottavia Busia in 2007, and that's when everything changed. Ariane was his greatest inspiration, but also his biggest critic. Much like her father, she didn't hold back when expressing her opinions on Bourdain's food.
Bourdain said his Ariane had a "very acute palate," and often joined him in kitchen. On another occassion, he stated: "My daughter sometimes challenges me to not repeat myself, so it's something different every day."
The Other Great Love of His Life: Comic Books
We know Bourdain for his passion for cooking, but a lesser-known interest of his had nothing to do with food at all. Since childhood, he held a special love for all things related to comic books, going so far as to actually create a few of his own. Once his career success came, he was able to pursue this interest further, and ended up releasing three comics in his lifetime: Get Jiro!, Get Jiro: Blood and Sushi, and Hungry Ghosts. In these comics, his love of Japan was on full display.
Bourdain had even written and hand-drawn a few comic books all by himself back in the seventies, but publishers weren't willing to pick them up. After all, he hadn't amounted to much at that point.
He Helped a Teen With Cancer Realize His Biggest Dream
It's clear to many of his fans that Bourdain had a big heart and always looked for opportunities to help others less fortunate. One example is when he donated $4,000 to a teenager suffering from cancer, whose dream was to dine out in a restaurant in all 50 states of America. Bourdain stumbled upon Ali Allouche's GoFundMe and made a sizable donation towards his $50,000 goal to help him realize his dream.
The $4,000 donation from Bourdain helped cover the remaining amount needed, pushing the teenager closer to realizing his dream. Even after the donation, Bourdain made a sweet video call to the teen on Christmas Eve.
Bourdain Became Friends With His Idol Iggy Pop
Bourdain had many culinary heroes in his life who inspired him in his own career. But he also had a great amount of admiration for those who had nothing to do with fine dining. One of the chef's "enormous heroes" was none other than rock star Iggy Pop, and best of all, Bourdain got to meet him on more than one occasion. Iggy Pop not only made appearances on some of Bourdain's TV shows but also took part in a GQ interview with him shortly before Bourdain's passing.
Bourdain had been listening to Iggy Pop's music throughout the trials and tribulations of his life, so getting to hang out with his idol on numerous occasions really was a dream come true.
He Was Totally Obsessed With Jiu-Jitsu Before He Passed Away
With all the food that Bourdain consumed, it's no surprise that he had a dedicated workout routine. But he didn't just engage in a little bit of cardio; he was an avid practitioner of Brazilian jiu-jitsu. He adopted a daily practice of it, with fellow practitioner Joe Rogan explaining in a podcast: “Yeah, became really obsessed with it at 58, and got really good. He was training every day, and he was trained twice a day, every day."
Having discovered his love for the martial art in the years preceding his passing, Bourdain is said to have become utterly obsessed with jiu-jitsu in his final months and managed to compete as a blue belt.
Bourdain's Daughter Will Have to Wait a While for Inheritance
Bourdain spent most of his life without any savings, but by the time he passed away, he had amassed a modest fortune of around $1 million. He left most of his money to his beloved daughter, Ariane. However, at just 11 years old, she was unable to inherit everything immediately. It is believed that she will receive some of her inheritance once she turns 25, and then again at 30 years old, so she still has a while to wait.
Even after Ariane turns 30, she will still have to wait another five years before she can inherit the remainder of the money left in the trust fund.
His Unwavering Support for the #MeToo Movement
Bourdain cared deeply about various issues throughout his life and believed in speaking up and supporting those in need. When the #MeToo movement gained momentum, Bourdain fervently supported the victims who came forward. This support was likely largely influenced by his girlfriend Asia Argento and his friend Rose McGowan, both of whom had been outspoken victims of abuse and harassment. When a friend of Bourdain's, another fellow chef, was exposed as a perpetrator of misconduct, Bourdain publicly called him out.
As a result of Bourdain's outspoken stance on the issue, many labeled him as a feminist who fought against the sexist culture in which he grew up.